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[leaveofabsence]

[ The default voicemail message greets you. ]

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[childeishly]

[ constricted!!! ]

And what do you plan to do now that you’ve got me where you want me, Xiansheng?

[leaveofabsence]

Tell you how much I adore you. I love you, Childe.

[ He says.

Even as Childe's nose is still getting bapped with his tail. ]

[childeishly]

[ takes the bap, stunned, because hearing zhongli say that is still a one-hit KO. ]

Zhongli Xiansheng… [ he’s blushing furiously as he peers up at him through his fluffy tail. ]

I love you too. I… I’m glad you feel the same. It makes me beyond happy. [ he changes back and scoops up zhongli, holding him closely. ] You, Xiansheng, make me happy.

[leaveofabsence]

[ A low rumbling purr starts low in his belly as he curls up in Childe's hold.

Yes. Good. Much better.

His paws start kneading the fabric of Childe's shirt. ]

And your smile is as beautiful as the sunrise in Liyue.

[childeishly]

[ brings him to nestle against the crook of his neck as he nuzzles down into him. ] -ah, High praise coming from you, Zhongli. [ kisses the top of his head. ] You're as perfect as a fresh, untouched Snezhnayan snow; something I could admire forever.

[leaveofabsence]

[ Okay.

That might get one cotton-filled chuckle from the small dragon plush because even Zhongli knows what Childe is thinking about when he looks at freshly fallen snow. ]

That's very sweet of you.

[childeishly]

[ and the blood that inevitably paints the snow red is just as nice as the red that colors zhongli's cheeks when he blushes. ]

...you started it. [ laughs and sets zhongli on his head as he heads into the kitchen. ] You feeling hungry, Xiansheng?

[leaveofabsence]

[ Curls up on top of Childe's head like he's nesting, tail wrapped loosely around his neck like a scarf. ]

Hmmmm. I do not know if I can eat in this form, but regardless I do enjoy watching you cook. So by all means.

[childeishly]

...you might look like a squishy stuffed animal, but you're still alive. I think you're just trying to avoid eating the seafood dish I inevitably cook. [ snickers. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ He noms on the one lock of Childe's hair that just won't stay down. ]

Dice the fish finely and you will hear no complaints from me.

[childeishly]

Is it all seafood you don't like, Xiansheng, or just the seafood with the extra wiggly limbs?

[leaveofabsence]

. . .

Anything with identifiable tentacles.

[childeishly]

I’ll avoid using that kind of thing then. It’d probably be about the size of you anyway!

[leaveofabsence]

[ The sound that comes out of the plush at that can only be described as a displeased whine. ]

Chiiiilde.

[childeishly]

I'm being honest, Xiansheng! Just look at you. [ reaches up to boop his snoot. ] But I'll refrain from making a slimy dish, just for you. [ he'll opt for king crab! and he's going to attempt to make sushi. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ At some point during the cooking, there might be soft snoring coming from atop Childe's head. ]

[childeishly]

… [ tries to peer through his own bangs to see zhongli, but that’s impossible. he heads back into the living room and kneels down, building him a comfy nest before placing him inside. he’ll get back to the cooking afterward. his sushi rolls are going to look so janky! and will probably be falling apart, so it may be for the best that zhongli can’t watch him completely suck. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ Something flutters around his ankles as he begins plating. ]

[childeishly]

Hn? [ startles just a little bit, looking down for the source. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ Tug at his pant leg.

Tug tug tug. ]

Let me roll them.

[childeishly]

[ scoops him up and keeps him tucked under his arm for an extra few moments. ] You sure you're going to be able to help like this?

[leaveofabsence]

[ Baps at with his tail. ]

Yes. Just help me to the sink so I can wash off my paws.

[childeishly]

Not a fan of how I wrapped the sushi I take it. [ laughs, bringing zhongli to the sink and turning on the faucet for him. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ He starts washing his little plush paws much like a raccoon before hopping onto the counter to go and roll the sushi himself.

Expertly, mind you. Even as he has the scuttle around in order to reach all of it. ]

[childeishly]

How are you able to do this so well when you’re like… [ jabs him in the side. ] this.