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[leaveofabsence]

[ The default voicemail message greets you. ]

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[leaveofabsence]

[ Okay.

That might get one cotton-filled chuckle from the small dragon plush because even Zhongli knows what Childe is thinking about when he looks at freshly fallen snow. ]

That's very sweet of you.

[childeishly]

[ and the blood that inevitably paints the snow red is just as nice as the red that colors zhongli's cheeks when he blushes. ]

...you started it. [ laughs and sets zhongli on his head as he heads into the kitchen. ] You feeling hungry, Xiansheng?

[leaveofabsence]

[ Curls up on top of Childe's head like he's nesting, tail wrapped loosely around his neck like a scarf. ]

Hmmmm. I do not know if I can eat in this form, but regardless I do enjoy watching you cook. So by all means.

[childeishly]

...you might look like a squishy stuffed animal, but you're still alive. I think you're just trying to avoid eating the seafood dish I inevitably cook. [ snickers. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ He noms on the one lock of Childe's hair that just won't stay down. ]

Dice the fish finely and you will hear no complaints from me.

[childeishly]

Is it all seafood you don't like, Xiansheng, or just the seafood with the extra wiggly limbs?

[leaveofabsence]

. . .

Anything with identifiable tentacles.

[childeishly]

I’ll avoid using that kind of thing then. It’d probably be about the size of you anyway!

[leaveofabsence]

[ The sound that comes out of the plush at that can only be described as a displeased whine. ]

Chiiiilde.

[childeishly]

I'm being honest, Xiansheng! Just look at you. [ reaches up to boop his snoot. ] But I'll refrain from making a slimy dish, just for you. [ he'll opt for king crab! and he's going to attempt to make sushi. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ At some point during the cooking, there might be soft snoring coming from atop Childe's head. ]

[childeishly]

… [ tries to peer through his own bangs to see zhongli, but that’s impossible. he heads back into the living room and kneels down, building him a comfy nest before placing him inside. he’ll get back to the cooking afterward. his sushi rolls are going to look so janky! and will probably be falling apart, so it may be for the best that zhongli can’t watch him completely suck. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ Something flutters around his ankles as he begins plating. ]

[childeishly]

Hn? [ startles just a little bit, looking down for the source. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ Tug at his pant leg.

Tug tug tug. ]

Let me roll them.

[childeishly]

[ scoops him up and keeps him tucked under his arm for an extra few moments. ] You sure you're going to be able to help like this?

[leaveofabsence]

[ Baps at with his tail. ]

Yes. Just help me to the sink so I can wash off my paws.

[childeishly]

Not a fan of how I wrapped the sushi I take it. [ laughs, bringing zhongli to the sink and turning on the faucet for him. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ He starts washing his little plush paws much like a raccoon before hopping onto the counter to go and roll the sushi himself.

Expertly, mind you. Even as he has the scuttle around in order to reach all of it. ]

[childeishly]

How are you able to do this so well when you’re like… [ jabs him in the side. ] this.

[leaveofabsence]

[ He titters as his tail curls to protect his side from another poke. ]

I've spent just as much time on four legs as two.

[childeishly]

I have my doubts that the mighty Rex Lapis spent his time as a dragon rolling sushi… unless there’s a story you haven’t told me.

[leaveofabsence]

As long as you understand the underlying principles this can be done in any form.

Perhaps it is your own restlessness that prevents you from the same.

[childeishly]

I'm not restless. [ huffs. ] Not here. I consider this place something of a sanctuary in this this ridiculous hell. [ he's not going to give up on his sushi rolling... though he will watch zhongli and try to imitate him. ]

[leaveofabsence]

[ He pads over to Childe and covers his hands with his plush paws, helping him roll the sushi in the same way that he re-adjusts Childe's grips on chopsticks. ]

I'm glad to hear that this place brings you some peace.