leaveofabsence | Imeeji Inbox

Then if I am understanding correctly... there may be a demon that you are interested in forming a relationship with?

…I’m already in some sort of relationship with one of them. A former unitmate and a close friend of mine were the only two people I had told, but now they’re both gone. I figured I might as well tell somehow, and you’d already seen some of the changes I endured when our bond got stronger.

How much do you know about the two demon factions?

Just what the guidebook that Hiryuu wrote told me.

Though I suppose I know a little bit more about the Vengeance side since that is where my contract lies.

I should probably read that again sometime. I think it might have gotten an update at some point, but, ah, anyway… [ she takes out her phone and shows him a picture of Hadassah. ] She’s from Pythia’s faction, which means ‘Heaven’. She’s also a snake, and that’s where a lot of… [ motions to herself. ] this came from. I have corruptions of my own, but these ones are courtesy of ‘us’.

And I think I told you that my Heroes Never Die is on, right, [ she looks aside, because finding ways to just blurt out all of this is not as easy as she thought it would be. ] that’s also a result of our relationship.

[ DVa.

DVa... that's.

That's a lot to take in.

And after a very long pause. ]

Is she fair to you?

[ shrugs. ] It’s hard to tell, since, like, it depends on what a person considers a blessing and a curse. Is never being able to die good or bad, ..? But, anyway, I’m kind of like her Oracle - and I’ve gotten visions in the past, though making sense of them is another story. I’m not really good at that kind of stuff though, so if the information given was useful I’ll… never know.

That is a very specific instance. And if you find never dying more useful than a hinderance I will not fault you or judge you for that.

You say you are her Oracle. And that she grants you visions.

But the power imbalance here is very apparent. That is why I asked if she was fair to you. If she treats you kindly.

I found out about it during the worst game that the Producers run here: Betrayal. It’s round after round after round of idols killing each other, possessed by ghosts or not. I did almost ten times there, in some fucked up ways that still chill me to the core. [ and haunt her nightmares. ] …so I don’t know anymore, honestly.

…well obviously. We weren’t on even ground to start, and I’m surprised I got anything at all. But she’s never specifically don’t anything to purposefully hurt me. She runs games, as all hosts do, but in the few instances we’ve spend time together she’s been fine. I do care about her, I think, stupid as that probably is.

It is not as you put it - stupid to care about people. That is your kindness and your strength.

My only concern is if that care is returned even if she cannot go against the rules of her role in this production.

I think she does care. I enjoy her company and I doubt she would have agreed to go this far if there wasn’t something there, y’know?

Then I will trust your judgement on the matter. But if you do discuss it at any time, I am here. I have known a few humans who have had relations with adepti, so I may be able to offer their stories for comparison.

[ ...trust her judgement. no one trusts her judgement. ] H- heh, thanks. I might need to. I just... don't know how to feel about all of this stuff sometimes. Like, I definitely know this was probably foolish, but... maybe I'll have finally found somebody who won't leave me...

The people that we love never leave us. Even if they cannot be physically present with us anymore.

I guess that's true, but that still doesn't really help with all the loneliness. But that's probably human nature or something, ...being somewhat needy when it comes to feelings and junk.

No. It really does not.

So if she can help curb the pain of loneliness then I am grateful that you have found that respite. But also as your friend, I would ask that when you have the peace of mind to do so that you examine that neediness to see if it is helping or harming you. An open heart is more vulnerable than one kept locked away, after all.

...and a thoroughly broken heart needs someone or something to help it heal. [ she gets up and moves down the beach. ]

[ Follows, though he's staying far enough from the shore so the tide doesn't wash over his shoes. ]

Might I ask a theoretical question then?

Go right ahead.

I will admit this questions is a bit personal. I work at a funeral parlor, so seeing those grieving and left behind is nothing new. I've lost many friends along my journey as well. And yet I never know what condolences to offer. Not for them and not for myself.

What would you say to someone in a similar situation as yourself who has been left behind?

I don't know. If I had an answer perhaps I wouldn't feel like this so often.

I see. Perhaps that was an unfair question.

Then I will hope that this relationship gives you the stability you are seeking.

No. It's not unfair at all. It's difficult to, like, access your own life sometimes, so trying to do so from another perspective can be eye-opening. I just don't know what I'd tell somebody in my shoes, mostly because I feel like most people wouldn't get here... Am I smart? Am I stupid? Is it a bit of both? [ laughs. ] It is what it is and I think I already ran past the point of no return, so it's time to commit.

I do not think it is either if you are sticking to your principles. And staying the course might be the wisest choice.

But if at any point you do wish to turn back, know that Heart will be there for you. We all care about you very much.

No one but you on Heart knows and I'd like to keep it that way until I decide to tell anybody else. If I decide to tell anybody else.

[ Ah, one of those deals ]

Then your secret is safe with me. And my word is solid as stone.

But might I know why you wanted to trust this information with me in particular? Are you concerned that something may happen soon in this relationship?

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