If you have ever researched Liyue, you will know that is a burial ground for countless gods, friends and foe of Morax alike. As well as the resting place for many adepti and other companions long past.
My ideal world was one where I had not lost those companions.
To wake me from the dream, Tartaglia took to systematically removing each and every one at great personal cost to himself.
He did not lose a part of himself with each murder.
The people he was killing were important to me. And for myself caught in the dream, it was very distressing to see them killed. He was upset because he was hurting me.
Handling it is a very poor turn of phrase. As if it was a task to be completed off of some checklist.
Yes, I will tend to Tartaglia - and that would be true regardless of your request. Because I want to understand what is bothering him and help him through it.
I will not beg you to help him, so that’s how I’ll phrase it and if it bothers you, isn’t that too bad for you, mm?
But he wanted me to leave him alone after the dream. And I did. I want to understand what happened but I can’t help him. Even if I tried, we both know I’d make it worse. Isn’t that why you asked me to swear I won’t hurt him with this knowledge?
Learning how to navigate another person's emotional state will naturally result with both success and failure. It will take trial and error and practice and patience. That is how the relationship between the two of you will grow.
What I do not wish is for you to use that information as a result of anger or any other negative emotion just to get a rise out of him.
As for leaving him alone, Tartaglia has a certain amount of pride and does not like to appear vulnerable. A trait that I'm sure you can also relate to. Just because he wants space now does not mean that will always be the case. He just may need some time to recuperate.
[ he's crossing his arms at his chest and looking at him, and then he shrugs ]
I just know he will benefit more from your presence than mine. I don't like you, but he does. When he's ready to see me I'll talk to him too.
I am grateful for what you did in my dream. And it's why I invited you here. I will not try to push Tartaglia away from you again.
As for your original question.
I was never a pawn to any higher being. My creator abandoned me and let me live my life as I saw fit. Everything I did was because I wanted to do it. I was not cursed or manipulated by any other higher being.
If I had the chance at another life perhaps I'd simply want to never know who I truly was, and why I came to being.
No. I don't actually want to forget. If anything forgetting would be terrifying now that I know. There's a reason why my meeting with Lilith entailed losing my sense of self little by little over and over again.
Had I never known from the start perhaps I would have had different expectations. Different experiences. Maybe my ties would have truly been severed fully.
But I'm not living that life, and I will not change it now. I simply want to make it clear that my actions have been my own. It'd be so much easier to shake it off as me having been bound by fate. But what I've been bound by is my desire for revenge and hatred. And whether it will keep consuming me and everything that's unfortunate enough to come across me remains to be seen.
Still.
I'm thinking perhaps after all of this ... I might just wander a little longer. Travel to other Worlds. That was a suggestion you wrote, wasn't it?
And if not I could always hop onto the next one, looking for something new and exciting. Endless wonder without being pathetically stuck in a single moment for eternity.
[ And the realization of that seems like an Emet problem. Not a Zhongli problem. Ganba, other grandpa. ]
My objective is simple. I wish to tell the story of Teyvat and its people beyond our stars. Doing so with the Traveler was the first instance of such a opportunity. And while the circumstances of being here are quite unfortunate and against my will, the fact that Travelers from dozens of worlds exist here makes that wish all the more possible.
Had I lived as long as you have I would probably hate the place even more. But how fortunate then, that what I wanted to share is what happened to my world. My version of it, any way.
How much has Tartaglia shared with you? You already know I deflected and took the Gnosis with me. I told you about the Tataragami in the dream, and how that happened as well.
Not many. I was one of them, Dottore was another, though if he died before I saw him again I have no idea. I was killed at any rate, and since you Archons also lost your minds, I doubt those who survived will survive for long.
Things did get downhill once it was gods and immortal beings that begun to lose it.
I will give you a list of my movements after I took the Gnosis. If you kill me before any of that happens, your world should be safe, no? Tartaglia may end up not having the heart for it now.
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leaveofabsence) wrote2025-03-14 08:34 am
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My ideal world was one where I had not lost those companions.
To wake me from the dream, Tartaglia took to systematically removing each and every one at great personal cost to himself.
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But he did die a few times in my dream as well, and each time he experienced my encounter with Lilith.
If he lost part of himself with each murder … that would explain it.
1/2
Ugh. His poker face is practically non-existent at this point, so he visibly tenses at "did die a few times" and "Lilith".
. . .
Well fuck. ]
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He did not lose a part of himself with each murder.
The people he was killing were important to me. And for myself caught in the dream, it was very distressing to see them killed. He was upset because he was hurting me.
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But he was fine when we left my dream together. Even after all that.
Does he think he failed you? He had a stuffed animal in your liking, and he was clutching it.
Well. You should handle it.
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Yes, I will tend to Tartaglia - and that would be true regardless of your request. Because I want to understand what is bothering him and help him through it.
Do you not feel the same?
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But he wanted me to leave him alone after the dream. And I did. I want to understand what happened but I can’t help him. Even if I tried, we both know I’d make it worse. Isn’t that why you asked me to swear I won’t hurt him with this knowledge?
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Learning how to navigate another person's emotional state will naturally result with both success and failure. It will take trial and error and practice and patience. That is how the relationship between the two of you will grow.
What I do not wish is for you to use that information as a result of anger or any other negative emotion just to get a rise out of him.
As for leaving him alone, Tartaglia has a certain amount of pride and does not like to appear vulnerable. A trait that I'm sure you can also relate to. Just because he wants space now does not mean that will always be the case. He just may need some time to recuperate.
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[ he's crossing his arms at his chest and looking at him, and then he shrugs ]
I just know he will benefit more from your presence than mine. I don't like you, but he does. When he's ready to see me I'll talk to him too.
I am grateful for what you did in my dream. And it's why I invited you here. I will not try to push Tartaglia away from you again.
As for your original question.
I was never a pawn to any higher being. My creator abandoned me and let me live my life as I saw fit. Everything I did was because I wanted to do it. I was not cursed or manipulated by any other higher being.
If I had the chance at another life perhaps I'd simply want to never know who I truly was, and why I came to being.
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. . .
But if that is your wish, then your unit abilities provide you a way to make that a reality.
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Had I never known from the start perhaps I would have had different expectations. Different experiences. Maybe my ties would have truly been severed fully.
But I'm not living that life, and I will not change it now. I simply want to make it clear that my actions have been my own. It'd be so much easier to shake it off as me having been bound by fate. But what I've been bound by is my desire for revenge and hatred. And whether it will keep consuming me and everything that's unfortunate enough to come across me remains to be seen.
Still.
I'm thinking perhaps after all of this ... I might just wander a little longer. Travel to other Worlds. That was a suggestion you wrote, wasn't it?
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The stars and places that exist outside of Teyvat are almost limitless in number.
And we have the rare chance to get to experience some of them firsthand here. Surely among them, you could find a place that you would enjoy.
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[ like someone else was hoping for ]
Alexander invited me to see his world too.
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I think that might a good place to start your journey - so that you may have someone to guide you should you desire such a thing.
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[ he definitely needs guidance ]
What about your answer, then? About what your objective is. There’s something else I need to tell you, but go on first.
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My objective is simple. I wish to tell the story of Teyvat and its people beyond our stars. Doing so with the Traveler was the first instance of such a opportunity. And while the circumstances of being here are quite unfortunate and against my will, the fact that Travelers from dozens of worlds exist here makes that wish all the more possible.
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How much has Tartaglia shared with you? You already know I deflected and took the Gnosis with me. I told you about the Tataragami in the dream, and how that happened as well.
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[ Whether that is true or not is up for Scaramouche to decide. ]
I only know that many people there died, himself included. Though with your additional telling, it seems that death came for many.
Are there those that managed to survive? Or has the cycle of rebirth begun anew.
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Things did get downhill once it was gods and immortal beings that begun to lose it.
I will give you a list of my movements after I took the Gnosis. If you kill me before any of that happens, your world should be safe, no? Tartaglia may end up not having the heart for it now.
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...
Is this something you also do for Tartaglia?
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I already told him he should kill his version of me and take the Gnosis for himself, but he hasn’t been receptive to it.
Whether you tell him you’ll take care of it or not is up to you. For me it won’t make a difference.
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